


No Way Out

by heeroluva



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Asexuality, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-05
Updated: 2012-04-05
Packaged: 2017-11-03 02:57:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/376337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heeroluva/pseuds/heeroluva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oz had thought there was something wrong with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Way Out

Oz never questioned it, not until years later; he just went with the flow, thinking it would grow on him like the rest of it. He hadn’t liked the drugs at first, the things they made him feel, but he’d gotten used to it, the high that stole the world away. The crowds and the noise and the attention used to make his breath catch and his heart race, but not in a good way, not at first. But then like everything strange and new, he’d gotten used to it, started to enjoy the cheering, the attention.

But the sex, the touching, that had never grown on him, never gotten any easier, never become enjoyable. Oz had never had a problem getting it up, but the physical reaction never connected with his mind, never turned into the intimacy that everyone seemed to claim it to be. He’d never learned about it in school; sex-ed was one of the classes that he hadn’t skipped. It wasn’t on TV or in the news. It had been pure luck when he’d stumbled across the mention of it online, and out of curiosity he’d looked it up.

Asexuality. Oz had thought it was how fungus reproduced, but that was apparently just one meaning. Humans could be asexual, not feeling sexual attraction, have no interest in sex, and it didn’t mean that something was wrong with him like he’d thought for so long, that he was broken in some way. Oz didn’t fret, not really, not usually. But his lack of interest in sex, when the rest of the guys had soaked up the attention of the groupies, the jeers from them that he couldn’t get it, had made him wonder.

That there were others like him, stories of people living happy and fulfilling lives, set a part of him at ease that he hadn’t realized was so affected. Oz didn’t do worry, or he hadn’t thought he had. But a part of him had thought that it would always be like that, that he’d be trapped with no way out. He’d known that there was a lot of compromise in life, but this had been something he’d almost dreaded. 

The knowledge didn’t fix anything, not really. The world didn’t really understand, and how could people if no one was teaching their children that some people didn’t have sex, didn’t have any interest in it at all, and that it was okay. Despite that, Oz felt comfortable in his own skin for the first time since before he’d been bitten. It was a start.


End file.
